You're sort of famous A minor celebrity And so it only makes sense The world would be Obsessed with every Single thing you do They're running 'round With their camcorders in the night They're lurking patiently And hoping that they just might See something real embarrassing You do The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirts That's the story that They are gonna feature With exclusive pics Of your flabby behind You think you're all alone But that's right when you'll find A bunch of paparazzi Popping out of nowhere Cameras in your face And then suddenly You're on TMZ You're on TMZ Following you When you're walking down the street And asking stupid questions While you're trying to eat So you cover your face Thinking to yourself "Hey, isn't this creepy?" And they're out there praying You'll have a big meltdown And take them on a little car chase Through this whole town They'll be there with you When you're going to jail First on the scene For every wardrobe fail You just picked up some transvestite Seconds later It's up on the website Get a Vegas wedding A quickie divorce And they'll be Sneaking in Snapping pictures, of course And if they ever catch you Picking your nose Or storming down the street On a drunken spree You're on TMZ Stalking you Just waiting by a front door Trailing you through Airport security They were TMZ They were TMZ We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poop Is that a baby bump? I pronounce you guilty, of leaving the house while fat Look who's drinking coffee Everything celebrities do is fascinating Oh, let me tell you It's getting to the point Where a famous person can't Even get a D.U.I Or go on a racist rant Those guys are all around So you really shouldn't dare Go to every club in town If you've lost your underwear Seems that every single time A star decides to shave their head Or ram their car into a tree They're on TMZ If they catch you peeing in the bushes Later on, that night Well, I guarantee You're on TMZ You're on TMZ You're on TMZ Every single celebrity Knows they're gonna be There on TMZ